Advice and Vision Problems

“Don’t sweat the small stuff, focus on the big things like family and your career.”

“Take time to focus on the little things each day and find beauty in everything you see.”

Advice. We’ve all heard it, we’ve all given it. And no matter how verbious, eloquent or original you are, I’m sure you’ve delivered it in cliché terms. All of us are “guilty” of using the above phrases, or some version of them. It seems harmless, in fact our intentions when delivering such advice are often wholesome; we aim to encourage, inspire and uplift the recipients of our borrowed wisdom, but what are we really doing? What the hell does it mean to focus on the big things? And how am I supposed to ignore the small stuff while rejoicing in it at the same time? Advice is so damn confusing…

I fully comprehend that if you focus on the “small stuff” such as spill’t milk, or other unimportant nuances that seem to get your panties in a wad, you will be spending a lot of time being mad. Life has a talent for dealing out ironic and coincidental forms of torture through accidents and mishaps. It seems fitting that if you were to focus on the love of your family, the success of your career, or any other major pillar of your existence such as a hobby or religion, that you would be happier. The theory is that focusing on those important things will give you the power to overcome and ignore all of the little things. I get it, but I don’t buy it. What if all of those little things effect your “big stuff”? What if your spill’t milk leads to an electrical fire that leaves your family homeless? Okay, I guess that’s a little extreme… What if you love your career, but you have a superior with a personal vendetta against you? It would be pretty hard to focus on your family and enjoy your career when your boss did little things to harass you and threaten your livelihood. How could you enjoy the love of your family fully when you are worried about how to support them?

I guess the answer would be to find the beauty in the “small stuff.” Instead of worrying over something you can’t control like your boss’s attitude problem, you could enjoy the ten minutes you spend playing Legos with your child, or taking your dog for a walk, or creating and eating a delicious meal (such as the quick shake I share below J). By focusing on these small things and finding joy in them, you could remain happy even in the face of adversity. So you should focus on the big things while finding beauty and joy in the small things. You should focus on everything?!!???! Wrong! Focus is not the problem or the answer.

Perspective is.

It all comes down to how you view things, not what you are viewing. No matter what is going on in your life, it is important to maintain a positive attitude; look for the good in every situation. This is something way easier said than done. To give perspective on my perspective, let me share a little of my story.

I am a teacher, a high school dropout, the mother of a medically disabled child and transplant recipient, a local women’s motocross champion, and an athlete. My life is full of a lot of big and small things at the ripe age of something-higher-than-I-am-willing-to-admit. When I was pregnant and focused heavily on the prospect of establishing my family, I learned awful news. I found out at my 5 month ultrasound that my son was going to be born with a birth defect that would require surgery. I was devastated, but I never let it get the best of me. I learned everything I could and toured the hospital where he would be staying for awhile after his birth. Instead of focusing on what was wrong, I looked around me and realized that there were children and families dealing with far worse. I remained thankful. That is, until my son was born.

Shortly after his birth, 3 days to be exact, we learned that the worst case scenario was a reality. My son needed a rare transplant to survive. The journey leading up to his transplant was extremely difficult and more than once I was told to think about letting him go, but I never did. I focused on the big things, such as my family, but I did not miss any opportunities to rejoice in the small stuff, such as his first bottle at 3 months old, and his love of laughing and singing. Often as I was going through it, and even now 5 years later, people applaud me for my strength. This has always baffled me, emotional strength is not something I see myself as posessing. I now know why. It wasn’t strength that got me through, but perspective. It was my ability to focus on the positives in both the big and small things that allowed me to push forward relentlessly and without wavering. I realized the power of perspective, not strength, recently while dealing with a much different hardship.

Just under two years ago I became addicted to crossfit (and I don’t use that term lightly – it’s a very healthy addiction of great proportions), in fact I love it so much I could tell you exactly how many hours I’ve spent in the gym since the very day (yes I know that too) I began. After three months participating in crossfit at my local box, and home away from home Dansville Fitness Club, I decided that I wanted to compete. Once I got a taste of competition I was determined to reach the highest level I was humanly capable of achieving. This led to an individualized and intense training program. I had a 9 month window and my plan was complete with phases, macro and micro cycles (thought up by my trainer – he’s a mad genius when it comes to programming). I spent between 12 to 16 hours in the gym a week and even more hours at home training and practicing. I saw many gains and enjoyed every minute of it. There were some setbacks and I didn’t always do as well as I wanted as quickly as I wanted, but I remained thankful and positive. That is, until I broke my wrist.

Just over half way into my training program I was set back so far that I couldn’t even lift weights, let alone what I was lifting on my first day of crossfit. It was a bitch. I apologize for my frankness, but I can’t really think of a more appropriate term. That’s exactly what it was. I was mad at myself and mad at the circumstance, but I wasn’t defeated. I still went to the gym every day and did what I could. My trainer modified everything and I found joy in learning new movements. Though I wasn’t moving massive weight, I would get excited over doing a one-handed lift for the first time, or jump roping with a cast. I focused on the big things outside of the gym like my family, and found joy in all of the little things I could do. As a result, now, 2 months out from my wrist injury (and after a thumb injury and sickness… but that’s another story) I was able to complete my first RX competition and I’m able to snatch just as much weight as I could prior to getting hurt, as well as being only 10-25 pounds shy of some of my other lift PR’s. Life isn’t bad and all is not lost. I have a healthy son and am still a spit-fire athlete.

I believe the reason all is not lost is that I maintained a positive attitude and focused on what I could do in every situation. I loved the big and small things. It was about how I chose to view my situations rather than what part of the situations I chose to view.

So, go forth and find enjoyment in the big and small things… such as this delicious, small snack. It will take you less than ten minutes to make, it’s full of clean foods, and if you’re a food lover like me – you will enjoy every sip of it!

Blueberry Smoothie

Makes one serving

Ingredients

2 Tbs Almond Butter – creamy unsalted

1 raw egg (please note, it is not recommended to consume raw eggs – it can lead to salmonella or other sickness)

1 ripe banana

1 teaspoon cacao powder

½ cup organic frozen blueberries

Enough unsweetened, original flavor almond milk to create the consistency and serving size you would like

Dash of sea salt

1 Tbs roasted, ground flax seed

 

Directions

1. Put all of the ingredients except for flax seed into a blender.
2. Blend them until it creates a homogeneous mixture.
3. Pour it into a cup and sprinkle the flax seed on top.
4. Enjoy the protein, healthy fats and carbs guilt free!